What if I forget to give one day? Remember, you do NOT need to be perfect here!
Mbali -- the medicine woman who inspired this project -- once told me that perfectionism... always thinking your are not good enough... don't do well enough... aren't enough... is a form of scarcity thinking.
Do yourself the gift of letting go of perfectionism during your 29 days of giving.
If you get to the end of a day and realize that you forgot to give your gift, don't beat yourself up or think that all is now lost and quit.
You have a few choices of how to handle it if you "forget."
Mbali actually suggests starting again at Day One because giving every day for 29 consecutive days helps the energy build around your ritual. If you miss a day and start over, she says you release the energy and then it starts building again as you start over. If you decide to take this suggestion, just make sure you're not judging yourself. You haven't failed any test. You're just starting over.
If beginning at Day One is to much for you, you can also just pick up where you left off. Sit down with a journal or on your giving blog like Eve on a day she "forgot." Reflect on the times you gave unconsciously to bring the gifts into your consciousness.
Most importantly, don't beat up on yourself because we don't expect perfection -- only progress -- around here.
Annie--one of my best SF friends who used to allow me to boss her around at an ad agency where we used to work together--once taught me a good lesson about perfectionism. She spent a day at a fancy time management seminar because I suggested improving her time management skills in her quarterly job performance review. When she came back to the office the next day, I asked her, "What's the most useful thing you learned yesterday?"
Annie's reply to me was: "Perfectionists never get anything done. You need to let me make more mistakes."
Annie taught me a BIG lesson that day. Life is about progress, not perfection. So is the 29 Gifts Challenge.
Today, gift yourself a break by really believing that you are enough, exactly the way you are!
Do yourself the gift of letting go of perfectionism during your 29 days of giving.
If you get to the end of a day and realize that you forgot to give your gift, don't beat yourself up or think that all is now lost and quit.
You have a few choices of how to handle it if you "forget."
Mbali actually suggests starting again at Day One because giving every day for 29 consecutive days helps the energy build around your ritual. If you miss a day and start over, she says you release the energy and then it starts building again as you start over. If you decide to take this suggestion, just make sure you're not judging yourself. You haven't failed any test. You're just starting over.
If beginning at Day One is to much for you, you can also just pick up where you left off. Sit down with a journal or on your giving blog like Eve on a day she "forgot." Reflect on the times you gave unconsciously to bring the gifts into your consciousness.
Most importantly, don't beat up on yourself because we don't expect perfection -- only progress -- around here.
Annie--one of my best SF friends who used to allow me to boss her around at an ad agency where we used to work together--once taught me a good lesson about perfectionism. She spent a day at a fancy time management seminar because I suggested improving her time management skills in her quarterly job performance review. When she came back to the office the next day, I asked her, "What's the most useful thing you learned yesterday?"
Annie's reply to me was: "Perfectionists never get anything done. You need to let me make more mistakes."
Annie taught me a BIG lesson that day. Life is about progress, not perfection. So is the 29 Gifts Challenge.
Today, gift yourself a break by really believing that you are enough, exactly the way you are!
Tags: forget, miss day, perfectionism
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Wako on -
Ahhhh. Thank you for that GIFT, Cami. I suffer severely from perfectionist's inaction and hearing this every day any day is perfect for me. ;-)
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Permalink Reply by Erin - 29Gifts Community Manager on -
SO glad I don't have to be perfect! Otherwise, I'd be a miserable failure :)
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Permalink Reply by Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder on -
I posted this mainly as a reminder for myself. Glad you guys appreciated it!
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Permalink Reply by sharon on -
I can't tell you how many have asked me if they needed to "start over", when they missed a day!
I assured them quite calmly that there was no way they did not give anything!
One woman said she lived alone and did not give to anyone, I asked her if she fed herself that day.
-s
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Permalink Reply by Tania Derck on -
Well, I guess if you skip one day... that's OK... but I've just waltzed through a few weeks without "consciously" giving. I feel really bad about it, but I don't think there has been a single day when I didn't give anything. Either I gave my time, or I brought sweet things or sandwiches to my friends... I just forget or don't have the time or energy to blog about it...
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Permalink Reply by Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder on
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I don't blog about every gift. I just make a note of it on my calendar. It's common that I go a few days and realize I have forgotten to written down my gifts. Then I sit and review each day in my mind a bit and jot down the gifts I remember in my calender. Then I blog when I feel like it and mention the gifts that feel the most impactful to me.
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Permalink Reply by Mary - 29Gifts Welcome Team Lead on -
Thank you for that. I've had one 'do over' and felt awful for not posting every day. My next blog will be a compilation of all gives and receives for my first complete 29 days of giving. Thank you, Cami. I feel better about myself.
Mary
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Permalink Reply by Stacey S. on -
I believe it isn't really about the blogging it is truly about the giving its self. as long as we are giving it doesn't matter if you write everyday or just give a synopsis at the end of the challenge. It is what you are giving and getting out of it that counts the most!! Happy giving!
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Permalink Reply by Peggy Martin-Waters on -
Thank you for helping me forgive myself for falling behind Cami! Grace is what it's all about!
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Permalink Reply by Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder on
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Just saw blog posts from a couple of new 29Givers saying they missed a day and now have to start over. Wanted to bump this discussion up so new folks can see these suggestions for what to do if you miss a day.
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Permalink Reply by sharon on
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I also told someone this week that every day counts and do not start over.
-s
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