Day 4

[Christian Pope Campbell]

I thought I was in a giving spirit this morning, but quickly turned sour when me oldest son asked me for $5 to buy more "stuff" at the school store. I became so angry and frustrated with him. I ended up giving him all of the $1 bills in my wallet -- 3 total. It was not good giving. Did it with a un-giving heart. :-( Have no idea why, then, I RECEIVED a totally unexpected gift from a dear friend across the country. She is a full-time grad student and she sent ME a $5 Starbucks gift card. Just because. (I'm wondering if she has committed to the 29-Day Giving Challenge!) It was a very powerful moment for me to receive that gift. Like grace. I didn't feel like I deserved it after my bad morning give. Humbling.

[Christian Pope Campbell]

Dawn -- I didn't even make the $5 connection! Now you have me thinking....

[Lubabat Scotland]

I want to be giving all the time. Is that realistic?! Or at all possible?!

I hope it's possible, because that's what I want too LOL. I think these difficult moments happen to show us where we blocks to achieving that goal so that we can fix them. The fact that you are aware of your feelings means that you can now do something about them the next time. :)

[Dawn wwt]

i can relate to your feeling angry and frustrated with your son. i get that way a lot with a couple of my kids. in my case, i think it is because they act like they are ENTITLED to get whatever they ask for and cop an attitude if i say no. (and these are supposedly adult children.) but still, i don't like that i allow myself to be affected like that. theoretically, the giving is it's own reward, and the recipients attitude shouldn't make any difference, but i haven't mastered that yet.
did you feel chastised when you got the Starbucks card from your friend? just wondering - i know i would have. especially since it was for exactly the amount of money your son asked for. Hugs, Dawn

[Christian Pope Campbell]

You may have something there! I think it comes with the territory of being a mom that you are continually being asked for something. Some days it just gets to me. But I shouldn't let it get to me. I want to be more conscious of my attitude! I want to be giving all the time. Is that realistic?! Or at all possible?!

Thanks for your comments! I appreciate them.

[Lubabat Scotland]

"Did it with a un-giving heart. :-( Have no idea why"

Thank you for your sharing this. I can totally relate to your experience. I know that I LOVE giving, BUT I have noticed that I don't like being asked to give I want to do it on my own. I am not quite sure why that is. Maybe in my mind I won't get "credit" for it as a give if I am giving because I was asked? I really don't know, but what I do know is that I am conscious of it now, and I', working on it.
Is it possible that something similar that happened with you? Just a thought. :)