I couldn't hold on to any thought very long today. Sometimes when I was sliding down the hole of dark thoughts I would just try to get back to “Remember to be on the lookout for someone who needs to be given something.” Sometimes I just sat there and stared.
One of the places I goto when I am sad is a candy store called Rocket Fizz… they were my chalk art sponsor for the Denver Chalk Art Festival this year. The girl there heard I was going through a hard time and let me take some salt water taffy. Actually when I went to pay for it, she refused, and wouldn’t let me pay. She was really sweet to me. It was nice because I was still in so much shock and shaking today.
I went to the Body Jam, a bodypainting practice session. A bunch of us crazy bodypainting artists get together and paint whoever shows up. Often there are as many as 20 to 30 people there. Tonight it was pretty full… one of the painters had gone to the hospital and had some sort of stomach surgery. One of the other painters was putting his hand on the area and doing energy work. I joined in and held her feet to ground her and do reiki. He left after a while and I stayed with her for about 10 minutes more, until her face of pain became relaxed. (My first gift of the day.) I also reminded her that I could do this long distance if it got bad again I encouraged her to call me if needed.
At the end of the event I found the bag of salt water taffy… I went around to whoever was still left and offered everyone a piece. It was fun to share the gift that was given to me with others. It wasn’t a big gift, just a bunch of little ones. One of the things I like about the challenge is that the size of the gift is never in question.
Today the thought of being on the lookout for who was to be a recipient of the gift was helpful. Today I got so much more from my loving and supportive friends than I gave. But today, it was all I was capable of, so that has to be good enough. It is good enough. It is a good beginning.