I can't believe my 29 days are more than half gone. (am wondering if there's an analogy to the glass half empty, but since I feel more than half full, can't say) So much has happened to me, and in me and through me. Perhaps the most profound but subtle awareness is that I have begun to attract to myself things, experiences and comments or feedback from other people. While my attention was on giving to others, others 'snuck' into my camp and deposited little treasures, thank you cards with compelling messages, in-my-face unsolicited positive appreciation and edification.
I began this challenge by thinking about what I would give and to whom. After a few days, I began to let go of the need to plan and allowed my intuition to manage the details. Intuition, one day, led me to make a stop at a garage sale knowing I did not "have the time" to do so. Within 10 seconds I found a pile of 4 hand woven priest's stoles from Guatemala. I had been looking for another one since I bought my first stole 20 years ago (see photo). The moment I picked up the stole with the rich browns, golds and green, I thought of Don--"this is his stole"--and I could not wait to give it to him. I will never forget the looks of joy and surprise hopscotching across his face!
A few times, at day's end, I had to try to recall if I had been duly diligent in the giving of something during that day (time flies). On days where an object was not given to a specific person, I found that there were small giftings here and there--to myself. Time. A fine meal. Mindful self awareness. Laughter, joy, a pause to be with a flower or a friend in my heart. And relief from petty grievances against myself, small rescues from the "nurges" (negative urges) or an internal vocal rise to my own defense where previously I might have stayed on my case until good and goddammed tense.
Important gifts often come in humble packages. Blessings and prayers, time and patience, celebrating a friend's success, holding space for a friend to grieve, holding my tongue, checking my attitude, retracting or withholding my judgment, encouraging a stranger. Smiling with my eyes and heart. And receiving without resistance.
I have been very busy lately and have had difficulty making time to process my experiences and thoughts through this site with the rest of you. There are people who need to be part of this amazing challenge and I am long overdue in sharing with them. So, I am officially catching up and joining in, or just digging in a little deeper.