I've been trying to be mindful in my giving. To Cami's newsletter, trying not to focus on what "counts" but just being mindful of all the things I give. So there have been some material gifts (my neighbor mentioned that her husband loves cookie dough so I made some and saved some for him) and some gifts of time and listening (a woman I work with is a week past her due date and people keep telling her horror stories about labor so I spent half an hour on the phone giving her a pep talk about what a great experience her impending labor and delivery would be).
Here's my new favorite experience (and my husband doesn't even know what happened, because it was all in my head):
Usually, my darling husband B and I take turns with cooking and cleaning the dishes. Since he's a school teacher and gets home before me, he usually cooks dinner and I clean up. In the past, if I had to do both for some reason, cooking and cleaning, I would be kind of silently fuming even if I didn't say anything.
But these days, I'm thinking about what I can do for other people. Instead of being worried about what's fair, I'm looking for how I can contribute. So last night, after I made dinner, I just went to clean up, too. Without hesitation, without aggravation or a bit of resentment in my heart. I wanted to do it. And although I was going through the same motions I have so many times before, it was just a different experience. I didn't say anything to B, but I enjoyed it.
So I think I must be growing a bit. I feel good about that.