Day 20
I had to cut myself a break today.
Kyle's dad took us sight seeing around nashville. We drove to the downtown area and walked along broadway street. They call it Nash Vegas because it's all glitsy.
We went out for some barbecue after that. I had a catfish blt covered in grease and tartar sauce. It was pretty good, but I've been struggling lately with my body image. I'm going to leave for rehearsals soon and i'm not as toned as I would like to be. It doesn't help that i've just started taking birth control again, (that always bloats me up) but everytime I come to Wisconsin from Vancouver I always gain about 5-10 pounds. I think it's all the drinking and late night ordering in. You become very aware of any extra fat you have once they put you in one of those sparkly thong bathing suits on stage along side all the other dancers. Anyways, i've been having a really rough time with how I look and thinking it just isn't good enough yet.
My gift today was to accept myself the way I am right now. I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and focused only on everything I like about the way I am, not what I'm trying to change. I felt better for the whole day. This is the only way to be. Later on tonight, I broke down a little bit again. I ate a sandwich right before bed and guilt overtook me. I went to bed feeling like a failure. So, my gift didn't last me all day. But for a few hours, I felt free of any pressure.
Kyle's dad took us sight seeing around nashville. We drove to the downtown area and walked along broadway street. They call it Nash Vegas because it's all glitsy.
We went out for some barbecue after that. I had a catfish blt covered in grease and tartar sauce. It was pretty good, but I've been struggling lately with my body image. I'm going to leave for rehearsals soon and i'm not as toned as I would like to be. It doesn't help that i've just started taking birth control again, (that always bloats me up) but everytime I come to Wisconsin from Vancouver I always gain about 5-10 pounds. I think it's all the drinking and late night ordering in. You become very aware of any extra fat you have once they put you in one of those sparkly thong bathing suits on stage along side all the other dancers. Anyways, i've been having a really rough time with how I look and thinking it just isn't good enough yet.
My gift today was to accept myself the way I am right now. I stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom and focused only on everything I like about the way I am, not what I'm trying to change. I felt better for the whole day. This is the only way to be. Later on tonight, I broke down a little bit again. I ate a sandwich right before bed and guilt overtook me. I went to bed feeling like a failure. So, my gift didn't last me all day. But for a few hours, I felt free of any pressure.
Comment
-
Comment by Paula Swenson on January 25, 2010 at 10:53am
-
Keep it up, Chloe, do this every day-- EVERY day. It will change your life.
~peace and joy~
-
Comment by Deb~ Community Manager on January 25, 2010 at 8:37am -
Sounds like you had a bit of fun Chloe! That's great! You are beautiful and loving Chloe! Don't be so hard on yourself! None of us are perfect... You are certainly NOT a failure!
Support 29Gifts.org
READ THE NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING STORY BEHIND THE MOVEMENT
Thank You to Mbali Creazzo for inspiring the 29 Gifts Movement
NEW? Please Read First
COMMUNITY EVENTS
IN OUR GALLERY
PINCURL GIRLS
VIEW THE SHOW
Pincurl Girls by Jen Lukas-Landis encourage girls to avoid self-doubt by looking for happiness and expressing their artistic talents.
SACRED CIRCLE MANDALAS
Purchase art at sacredcircleart.com touchstonesofthesacred.com
TELL YOUR FRIENDS
Latest Activity
Deb~ Community Manager posted a status"With all of our hearts joined together, we can fill the world with so much LOVE~"
© 2013 Created by Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder.
You need to be a member of 29-Day Giving Challenge to add comments!
Join 29-Day Giving Challenge