Today my gift was hot pepper jellies to my sister. I only ever come across them like one a year at a summer market, so I immediately thought of her when I saw them. The funny thing was I was with a friend in the jam store, and when we were finished looking and about to pay, he put his jams down and said to put mine down too. I said it was fine, that I would pay for my own. But then the cashier asked if they were all together and he said yes. For a split second I thought if he pays for this, it won't be a gift from me, but I caught myself and realized I was not open to receiving a gift that was being given to me in this moment. I've been thinking about not being open to receiving since someone I was newly involved with pointed it out to me. Upon reflection I was hesitant to accept gifts from him because I didn't think he had a lot to spare. I was looking at him if he was coming from a place of scarcity, but he didn't see himself as that.
Today my gift was finding resources for 2 friends. One of my best skills is being resourceful(finding people, places, information). I'm always happy to give this gift as much as I can. I never feel obligated to give it. There is never any expectation of getting anything back. It is one of the few times I feel grace. It doesn't feel like it's me. I am just the instrument. The first this morning really felt like a nudge from the universe. I read about an organization that was assigned to me through some volunteer work I'm doing and it was exactly what a friend urgently needed, but I needed to find it in his country. When I found it, I couldn't believe it, the organization was located in his neighbourhood. The second was introducing my contacts to the new president of the team that I was a part of last year. He only called to get advice. I was pleasantly surprised when he told me of all the positive changes that had occurred because of the work I had done last year. The impact was amazing. This truly feels like a gift.