Day 4

[Heather Linn]

Yesterday my gift was to offer forgiveness to a friend who had really hurt and angered me. It was the end of a busy day, I was exhausted, hadn't given my gift for the day and I was still upset about an incident the day before with a friend. It came to me that even though - or especially though - I didn't feel like it, offering unconditional forgiveness (and really giving this from my heart) would be a real gift - and a real stretch! So that's what I did. The response was amazing, and I today I feel that I have received ten-fold what I gave: I have managed to let go of all the hurt and anger and feel only love and great lightness. What a wonderful gift for us both! This is an amazing process - thank you 29-Gifts Challenge!

[Heather Linn]

Brad, thanks for your thought-provoking comment - sorry it's taken me a while to reply. Forgiveness has been a theme for me too (also with one main personal application, which seems to have taken years and layers to reach a place of resolution and release). In general, though, my experience has been similar: the relationship changes, even if you are able to really let go of the resentment or hurt and hold the person with love. Perhaps the reason for this is that often the main issue arose in the first place because there were underlying issues / blockages in the relationship (that might not have been apparent) and it needed to change. I don't think forgiveness changes any of this, unless the underlying issues are surfaced and worked through. What I've learnt is that forgiveness is not necessarily about fixing things - an important starting point, perhaps, but not the only component. For me, forgiveness is much more about what I carry around in my heart, and being able to move on with clarity, lightness and love - and allowing the other person to do so as well. Would be very interested to hear your thoughts! Heather

[Brad Gardiner]

Heather, this post of yours really touched me. I am working around issues of forgiveness (with one very personal application) and have several people I am working with who are struggling with exactly these things. It seems that we often can forgive but not resume at the same level our relationships with people we have forgiven. What has your experience been?

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Thanks goes to you~ Forgiveness is a very special gift. It made both of you so much happier. Bravo to you on a lovely gift Heather~