Day 5/6 - June 5th/6th

[Madison]

So the 5th and 6th days of giving were very much intertwined with each other.

On June 5th nothing much happened. I spent most of the day lurking with my books and Netflix account in various dark places of the house (I told you I was an eccentric wallflower). After a while I started my chore of washing the basement bathroom and listening to my parents telling me to get a life. While scrubbing on my hands and knees, I thought of my friend M (didn't want to use her real name). She had sent me a few friendly messages over the year while we were at different colleges, and I suddenly knew what I was suppose to do. M and I had been friends for a long time...she was one of my very first friends when I moved to Virginia. However, after a harsh falling out with friends my senior year we had lost the connection we once held. Deeply hurt, I expected her to jump out and be there for me, forgetting that 1) she didn't fully know what had gone on with the hurtful friends 2) she was still friends with them, and 3) I had never asked for help. Since then, although I had tried to move on and forgive, I still expected her to take the initiative, as if she owed me the attention. But she didn't. So as I knelt on the bathroom floor I sent her a message asking if she'd like to meet up and see a movie sometime. Her response was so happy and immediate!! She couldn't wait to see me, and was so happy I had messaged her. We planned to meet up the next day, June 6th.

On June 6th we finally met up and went to the movie (Snow White and the Huntsman). It was so wonderful to see M! We had both grown up so much since college, but I was thrilled to see that the things that had brought us together as friends three years ago were still there. We still finished each others sentences and had many of the same opinions. We had always felt a deep connection to each other, and I was glad it still remained, even through the hurt and damage. But going to the movie wasn't my second gift really (it was too similar/connected to day 5's). My gift to M that day was forgiveness, closure and support. Even though it was so great to see M, she did bring up some of the friends that had deeply hurt me my senior year of high school. She told me one of the girls wanted to see me again. It brought me to the realization that I couldn't just pretend that those things hadn't happened, and that if I was going to have true friendships I would have to face the past. I explained to M how I felt, and that I did want to restore some friendships and to forgive but cut others off. Although I don't want to put it on the internet (I don't know who's on here) later that day I was given a choice to defend M, or join in the hurtful discussion about her lack of friendship. While it would have been easy for me to do the latter, I instead defended. Even if she didn't defend me in high school, it didn't give me the right to not defend her. 

Sometimes it's really easy to mix up "Do to others what you would want them to do to you" with "Do to others something equal or worse than what they actually did to you". 

[Lois55 wwt]

A very inspiring post....I admire you, Madison, your ability to move on is wonderful!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

You are very wise~ I admire your corage and strength, Madison!