Thank you to all of you that are leaving comments on the blog. I appreciate all the kind words and support. I'm also open to observations or comments that question my assumptions. I really appreciate new perspectives that shed light on things I've become so used to, I don't see them. Today my gift was Shea Butter for a friend who has a mystery rash. For those of you that appreciated the coconut milk info, shea butter is awesome for anything skin related (applied externally) and I mean anything--google it. Many of my gifts may be health related as that is the field I have been in for many years. I find it very easy to give this as a gift, I forgot how much I know about health as I have been trying to transition into a new career. I was very frustrated while working in health care because giving knowledge is not sufficient to help people. it is necessary but not sufficient. The majority of the time, they needed to change something. This involved their psychological barriers--fears, emotions, limiting beliefs--that I had no idea how to remove/manage. Ironically I am in the same scenario in career coaching or I have been inadvertently drawn to it as it seems figuring out to how to get people over their hang-ups seems to be the most impactful, meaningful thing I can be doing. I'm finally beginning to feel grateful for the path I've been on vs. feeling like I made a mistake and needed to start again.
Today my gift was to take my mom out. I was planning on going to a book swap, so I decided to invite her along. We have a very strained relationship, and I had to make sure before I asked her my intention to give was from a place of love and not something that would drain me. I had done a guided meditation where I did a visualization of releasing the anger I felt towards her, and I really did feel different, somewhat lighter when I thought of her. When I think of the giving rituals in my family growing up, especially my mother, they were always out of obligation and silent expectation of something in return. I understand now why she is so depleted.
I read a quote recently that said "those who deserve love the least need it the most". I thought of my parents. Love is something I feel abundance in. I am very grateful that I feel this way. I don't actually know where it comes from, I guess from my inner self, but I don't know what the catalyst was but it feels like it grows everyday along with my optimism.