Gifts 11-21 (X15): Choosing FAITH over FEAR

[Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder]

I feel heavy-hearted tonight because I just did my accounting and realized that 29 Gifts doesn't have enough money in our coffers to cover our July expenses. We primarily rely on our members to Play Gift Tag and chip in a voluntary membership fee. I know money is tight out there for all of us, so I certainly don't take it personally that we are so far away from our goal of raising $1,500 through the Gift Tag Game by July 1. So far we've raised $400. It does bum me out that we may not have enough to cover server space, web application fees or to pay the main person (Erin, our community manager) who helps keep our community running. It adds to the weight that Erin has five children and if I'm unable to pay her, that means her whole family suffers.

I have never taken a paycheck from 29 Gifts -- not even out of the advance money we got for the book. My intention was not for this project to become a big money maker, but rather to be a self-sustaining community that can direct much needed funds to worthy causes worldwide. My vision is that 29 Gifts will grow into a powerful force for good--in fact, I believe we already are. But, I must admit I'm a bit worried about making it through the next couple months. I know once the book comes out in October we will see a new infusion of energy and cash that will help us expand and do even more powerful work in the world.

So this leaves me at a point of decision. Do I want to choose faith or fear? Do I want to believe with every cell in my body that the money we need to sustain ourselves will magically show up? Or do I want to choose fear and decided that I'm defeated. I choose FAITH. I do trust that the divine forces are behind us and a beautiful golden path is unfolding in front of us that I just can't see yet. I want to express my deep gratitude to all of you who have found it in your heart to support us by playing Gift Tag so far. Each dollar you give makes a difference to us. Thank you so much.

I also wanted to offer a quick tally of my cycle 15 gifts since it's been a while since I blogged.

#11: I gave time to a friend to help her brainstorm new ideas for her businesses.

#12: I went to a fund raiser that helped raise money for an awesome program that uses performing arts to help adolescents recover from addiction.

#13: I went over to my friend Steph's house and talked to her as she packed up the last few things to move out of her apartment. She just needed some moral support. I also brought her some food so her new fridge wouldn't be bare.

#14: I reviewed a good friend's book proposal and gave her some guidance.

#15: I agreed to sponsor a woman I met in my 12-step program and spent some time with her.

#16: I opened my home for Mbali and we had an amazing Divination Salon. I cooked a lot of food for the sixteen women who showed up and we had a wonderful evening. See the photo below of Mbali preparing for the divination.

#17: I took Mbali and introduced her to Grace, the amazing woman who does body work for me. Mbali was astounded at how gifted she was.

#18: I cooked again and opened my home one more time as 17 people gathered for our second divination salon.

#19: I went and visited my new little kitten. He's a black little runt and I decided to name him Earl. He can't leave his mama for a couple more weeks so I just went and spent time petting him and also introduced him to my dog, Charlie. Later, I went to a free Sober Jams event with my friend Lori because she was nervous about going alone. We had a really great time.

#20: I planted a little patch of grass installed out on our patio so Charlie has an easy-access place to do his business.

#21: I gave Mark, my husband an apology because I was acting like an ass when I got a bit stressed about the whole money thing.