You ever get the feeling of being in the middle of something, and not being able to do anything but just watch? I know that feeling. I know it all too well. But still, all the more reason for me to keep trying to endure what seems to be an impossible situation.
My mothers boyfriend treats us so badly, that it's even broken down my mothers fighting spirit. It's left her to the point of being a frightened little girl almost. I feel for her, because we have not expected this man, who we thought we've known for years, since I was four, to treat us this badly. I mean when you try to step in my mothers shoes, I think that anyone would be going through a title wave of emotions. Because she's jobless, lonely, has many bills piling on her, has nowhere to go, and is sorry that I have to witness such emotional brutality being given to us.
Despite all of this, I'm still holding on to my own. It's my turn to be that warrior princess that my mother used to be. I can't sit in the corner and cry for miracle. I'm sorry to say that I'm not that kind of person, as I believe in making your own miracles and doing things yourself. The reason why my mother seems to inspire me is because I feel that any other person would have gone to an asylum, with what she's been through. She should right a book, because it's been such a solemn life for her thus far, and she's still trying to make it. By this point, she has lot all faith in anything, so all the more reason to hustle and do my work in college.
I know it seems like a dark moment right now, and no matter how disturbing the situation, I am aware that in the end, this is only going to make me grow, and turn me into a much wiser person then I already was. I haven't lost my spirits to this man. *chuckles* I think I have a little too much pride to go down to someone like him.
I wanted to let you know that another person that has inspired me is Mary Wollstonecraft. No she did not write Frankenstein, that was her daughter, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly. But anyway, she inspires me not only because she was the first feminist, but she was such a bold and intelligent woman for her time era (1792). She had published " A Vindication for the Rights of Women", and the point she was trying to bring across, I believe was furthering your education and not to let the norms of society and what they perceive to be "womanly tendencies", stop you from reaching your stars. Meaning, don't fall for the weak and helpless woman stereotype. Mary was a fighter, and if she we alive, I know she wouldn't want me to drop out of college. I know somewhere, Mary is rooting for me, telling me that I can do this. She has lived her childhood very similar to mine, so I can somewhat understand. I'm also trying to stick it out in college, because I am constantly reminded of that nursing student who died, as I have mentioned in one of my previous posts. I know that if I drop out, his death will be in vain. I have the opportunity that he will never have, so I at least want to accomplish this not only for myself, but for him too.
For the rest of the women in this site who might be going through a perilous situation too, hold your head high, because were women and we can do it!