Heavy Situation, becoming a fighter

[Marlina]

 You ever get the feeling of being in the middle of something, and not being able to do anything but just watch? I know that feeling. I know it all too well. But still, all the more reason for me to keep trying to endure what seems to be an impossible situation.

My mothers boyfriend treats us so badly, that it's even broken down my mothers fighting spirit. It's left her to the point of being a frightened little girl almost. I feel for her, because we have not expected this man, who we thought we've known for years, since I was four, to treat us this badly. I mean when you try to step in my mothers shoes, I think that anyone would be going through a title wave of emotions. Because she's jobless, lonely, has many bills piling on her, has nowhere to go, and is sorry that I have to witness such emotional brutality being given to us.

Despite all of this, I'm still holding on to my own. It's my turn to be that warrior princess that my mother used to be. I can't sit in the corner and cry for  miracle. I'm sorry to say that I'm not that kind of person, as I believe in making your own miracles and doing things yourself. The reason why my mother seems to inspire me is because I feel that any other person would have gone to an asylum, with what she's been through. She should right a book, because it's been such a solemn life for her thus far, and she's still trying to make it. By this point, she has lot all faith in anything, so all the more reason to hustle and do my work in college.

I know it seems like a dark moment right now, and no matter how disturbing the situation, I am aware that in the end, this is only going to make me grow, and turn me into a much wiser person then I already was. I haven't lost my spirits to this man. *chuckles* I think I have a little too much pride to go down to someone like him.

I wanted to let you know that another person that has inspired me is Mary Wollstonecraft. No she did not write Frankenstein, that was her daughter, Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly. But anyway, she inspires me not only because she was the first feminist, but she was such a bold and intelligent woman for her time era (1792). She had published " A Vindication for the Rights of Women", and the point she was trying to bring across, I believe was furthering your education and not to let the norms of society and what they perceive to be "womanly tendencies", stop you from reaching your stars. Meaning, don't fall for the weak and helpless woman stereotype. Mary was a fighter, and if she we alive, I know she wouldn't want me to drop out of college. I know somewhere, Mary is rooting for me, telling me that I can do this. She has lived her childhood very similar to mine, so I can somewhat understand. I'm also trying to stick it out in college, because I am constantly reminded of that nursing student who died, as I have mentioned in one of my previous posts. I know that if I drop out, his death will be in vain. I have the opportunity that he will never have, so I at least want to accomplish this not only for myself, but for him too.

For the rest of the women in this site who might be going through a perilous situation too, hold your head high, because were women and we can do it!

[Ann]

My prayers are with you and your mom. 

[M]

I have been through similar situations. I am so sorry this is happening to you and your mom. This is the number for the Silent Unity prayer chain: I-800-669-7729. They are always there, and I always feel better after praying with them.

[Lois55 wwt]

Dawn has great information for you..please seek out  the help  you and your mom both need..take care..

[Deb~ Community Manager]

We are all rooting for you! Continue in school and become that fabulous nurse that we know you can be!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

I know this only too well. I wish you both could get OUT of there and away from the abuse. Don't ever lose your fighting spirit~ You are very brave. I know it myself and you think you have to stay. But you and your Mom can make it alone. You really can. There is help out there. I got it and many do. I pray things get better. The info Dawn has given you can change your life~ It truly can. We are all here to lend support. We love you, care and want you and Mom to be happy. Let us know how we can help, Marlina~

[Dawn wwt]

i googled domestic violence services (yes, emotional abuse qualifies as domestic violence) in your area. have you all tried contacting Safe Horizon?  http://www.safehorizon.org/index/what-we-do-2/domestic-violence--ab...  their telephone number is 1-800-621-HOPE (4673). it looks like they have a really comprehensive set of services, from legal help to shelters to free lock changes to counseling to health to financial aid. it might be worth looking into if you haven't already.

[Dawn wwt]

oh, Marlina! i am so sorry you and your Mom are going through this! i know what it's like to feel stuck in an abusive situation where you can see no way out. i am proud of you for keeping your eyes on the light...whatever it takes to keep you focused and positive, hang on to that. seeing you do well will encourage your Mom as well.

it took a while but i made it out and i have a good life now, you can do it too! let me know if i can do anything to help you. i mean it. Hugs, Dawn