I know it has been a long time since I was on here. But I am in need of this practice in a more intentional way. 3 Days ago I was with my fiance', had a car, a temporary safe place to live, and direction for my life.
My fiance' let me know that she didn't know that she wanted to be married with me anymore, left with her car, stranded me, and I'm now couch surfing... and I don't know where I will be tomorrow.
I just sat at the computer trying to do my normal things, I couldn't remember from one page to the next. If I can focus on something positive rather than this strange survival mode perhaps it will help.
So I am going to do a new round. (I've lost count from the last time.)
I need a way to check in that is safe, and positive. So I remembered this place and you guys. Before, this was old hat for me... now I need it just so I can survive this...
My fiance' says she needs time/space/stability. Just not with me for now. So for now, I feel abandoned and lost. Come Monday I don't have something to focus on... HELL I can't focus on something, anything today...
You guys know me. I'm pretty positive, but I will have to find some more creative ways to give than facebook posts. Unless I am in bed and not capable of leaving the room.
I woke up crying.. that has never happened to me before. I've woken up from a nightmare, but never because I was too angry and sad to be able to sleep. So I am asking some of you to check on me, and encourage me because this is the most emotionally difficult thing I've remembered having to go through in a long time.
Thanks in advance,
Mythica
Comment
Comment by Mythica on September 10, 2012 at 1:30am Thank you everyone... I really appreciate it. Every word.
I am so sorry you're going through this loss, multiple losses. It speaks to your strength and your heart that your instinct was to return here. Sending you energy and light.
I am so sorry that you are facing all of this...I agree with the special ladies here, you are not alone, you are among friends, and we do care. You will climb out of this dark place, because from all of your posts in the past, your strength always shown through....take care, hugs to you..
Comment by Dawn wwt on September 9, 2012 at 5:27pm my Dear Mythica, i am so sorry you are in this dark place right now! i know it hurts like heck, but your friends are here for you and we'll help you through it. we love you! Hugs, Dawn xoxoxoxox
Mythica: I'm so sorry to hear of your sadness. You are such a warm, loving, giving person. It's because of your strong faith and positive nature that you will come through this better and stronger than ever. You've been an inspiration to me and to so many others through your art, your poetry and your giving nature. You are in my prayers and I will definitely be checking in with you.
Mary
We are here for you honey.. We won't abandon you... You are loved and needed here and in this world. I will pray for you and know we truly do care~ xoxo
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