March 7, 2013 Round#2 Gift#11

[Ashleigh]

Today was the first baseball game of the season for our school. At first, I was so excited because I remembered Paul telling me last year that he couldn't wait until the next season because he would be starting center fielder. 

I drove to the baseball field and sat in my car. When I looked to the center field position, I realized that Paul wasn't there. That he never would be. He never got that chance because he was taken too soon. 

I have a cross on a chain that hangs around the rear-view mirror in my car.  Recently it broke and so the cross has just been sitting on my dashboard ever since. 

I drove to the cemetery where Paul was buried and I took the cross off the dashboard and placed it on Paul's grave. I wished so badly I could give him just one more chance to live and play his favorite game. Just one more time, in the perfect position, on a perfectly sunny day surrounded by his teammates. 

But, I realized all I could give him was that cross and my friendship. 

I sat on a bench by his grave for a long time just thinking and remembering everything about him. Like the time he looked me in the eyes and made me promise we would be friends no matter what. 

It really is no matter what now. Even though he's gone and not with me anymore, he's still my best friend and always will be. 

It just breaks my heart I won't ever be able to bring him back to live his dream. 

[Ann]

Oh Ashleigh, you are so young to have suffered so many losses.  But you are also so wise and loving that you daily teach me (and I am sure many others) a beautiful, heartfelt message everyday.  It sounds like you and Paul had a beautiful friendship.  Remember, he will always be with you in your heart.  Cherish the memories and take care of you dear one.

[Deb~ Community Manager]

I think he is there and looks down with pride and joy at the field and at your side every day~

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Love to you, Ashleigh.. I wish I could hug you. You are a beautiful Lady in much pain. We are here for you.. xoxo

[Laura M]

Ashleigh--What a beautiful way to honor your friend on the opening day of his favorite game's season.  I am so proud of you that you did this... that was perfect.  I am so sorry for your loss; my deepest condolences on the loss of your best friend.  There are no easy answers; sometimes it's only time that helps, but I know with your heart and care for others that you have to be a true blessing to those around you, just as you are on this board, and please do not forget that you have so much to offer, just as you shared today in such a generous way for the friend that you lost.  Just know you are not alone in facing loss & like Lois said--we are all here for you.   

So glad you're here--  

Big hug--

L

[Lois55 wwt]

Ashleigh, this just breaks my heart that you are in so much pain. You  need to give yourself time to grieve. Please take care...we love you and are here for you. Hugs...xoxo