R12 D16 a stranger reached out and parenting blessing

[LeilaniB]

D16 My gift was reaching out to a stranger and being open to the moment for a connection. I find at kid events I can be so focused on my kid I don't even really talk to anyone at something like the pool. I reached outside my social bubble and maybe we'll talk again on Monday:)

The gift I received as some of you who might read this know I've been working (I'm probably always working on my parenting - reading, going to groups, etc.) on a parenting habit I want to change. I'm using mindful techniques to stop myself as best I can (from flipping my lid or jumping to a knee-jerk response that has more to do with my feelings than being the kind of parent I want to be) and breathe, reflect, gain perspective, release my old stuff from my past, and be flexible about how I respond to my kid. Yesterday I had one of those moments, my kid said something that would have flipped my lid (in fact it did for a moment) then I breathed, stopped took a moment, and asked him if telling us that made him feel better, he said it didn't. I let it go. Yup, I didn't pursue it until later when I was completely calm maybe an hour later? I asked him in the car hey kiddo if it doesn't make you feel better to tell us that, why do you think you do? I could have cried when he told me that he tells us stuff like that to protect us. ohgod. Had I flipped my lid or had my normal knee-jerk quick wit response I might never have learned his real intention. This is what they mean I think in attached parenting about listening to our kids intentions not just their words. I could have cried for a bunch of reasons. That I might have missed this opportunity to connect with him and missed the chance to find ways to reassure him. That he thinks he needs to protect us? ohmy. Well at least I know what's up. big breath. I'm going to keep the mindful work - positive parenting, parenting from the inside out and more:) Thanks all for your encouragement. 

[Laura M]

Wow, I am so happy for you, Leilani, that you got that moment with him!  Way to go.  And the "need to protect us" stuff might be a lot to process--but lucky kid, that he's got you working to stay with him to even get that far.

Best to you on your path--seems like it's really opening up,

L

[Lois55 wwt]

You, my dear, are an inspiration! I will try not to do that knee-jerk reaction thing and try to step back myself. Thank you!!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Thank you for everything you share with us and all you have taught me.. xoxo