R12, D20

[IslandGirl]

This morning, I took muffins and scones to the soup kitchen. In the afternoon, I left a quarter on a public bench and took photos of a quartet of tourists, which is always fun (and reminds me that I live in a beautiful tourist destination).

I've been staying pretty calm, despite not finding work. I am pretty sure work with my friend/client will resume at some point - and I think soon, but I'm not sure. I've made a point of not asking her, and trusting that she'll bring it up when she's ready. This afternoon, though, I got a call from one of the agencies involved in my Financial Situation, regarding the debt I think I paid off last week. I didn't recognize the number, and it was during telemarketer hours, so I let it go to voicemail. (The collection agency, and the other gov't agency, both have it on file that I prefer all contact in writing, so a call was doubly surprising). The voicemail was just a recording that said "please contact us," but still... it was a sudden trigger of anxiety. Although I made the big payment that brought me up to date, I still have to make monthly premium payments, and this month I haven't been able to do that. It's on a list with about five other bills I haven't been able to pay. I'm living on hard-boiled eggs and peanut butter (and remembering to be grateful that I have even that), knowing that things will turn around - but I'm also starting to feel a bit impatient. I've had four project leads, and none has come through yet. So I keep doing what I think I'm supposed to be doing, and mostly (maybe 80% of the time) trusting.  

If I knew I could pay whatever remains on this debt, I wouldn't feel so anxious. So I'm reminding myself that I will be able to pay it, one way or another. I just don't have it on hand right now. I have to get into a calmer headspace before I call them back. 

Why am I writing all this? Because over the past year, there have been a few days like today, with sudden - or multiple - triggers, and it's always worked out. So I'm writing this and looking forward to the day I can look back and show myself (and you all), "See? It worked out." (And also: "Whew - glad that's over with!")

On the upside, last month my landlords hired me to help them with awards submissions, and yesterday we found out they're finalists in 4 out of the 6 categories they entered, which is a huge deal for them. So that's exciting (and it makes me feel good).

Hope you all had good Wednesdays. Cheers!

[Dawn wwt]

it helps to get things written down, too, instead of letting them circle around and around your head...at least it works that way for me. i'm sending good thoughts your way, hope things turn around for you very soon. Hugs, Dawn

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Sending love to you and prayers for better times. Wish you were here, I would hug you and take you out to relax a bit! xoxo Things will work out. Keep the faith..

[Lois55 wwt]

Hi, Sweetie....I am praying for you and thinking positive thoughts. Wish I could give you a huge hug, but the best I can do is (((HUG))).....I know things will work out, I can feel it....xoxo