This morning, I took goodies to the soup kitchen. I spent most of the day working on this project and contacting a couple of prospective clients. I took a few breaks to go down by the water and remind myself of the beauty around me. While I was there, I left a $2 coin on one of the walls that kids often walk along, hidden (slightly) under a plant. I sat nearby and did some work, hoping I'd be able to witness someone finding it, but despite many young wall-walkers, nobody had found it by the time I left.
Grumpiness continues. At least now I know it's hormones (and changing weather). There are some external factors, too. I don't feel depressed, just irritable. And I know from experience that the more I resist what I'm feeling, the longer it will stick around (the adage "What you resist persists"). So the trick is to accept, "okay, this is how I feel right now" - without taking it out on anybody (including myself), and to use the techniques I have to bring myself into the moment and into appreciation without "pushing down" the agitation. If that makes sense.
I have a lot (lot lot lot!) more days of feeling peaceful than agitated, which is a huge change from a couple of years ago. And I know this, too, will pass. It's all part of life. In my belief system, being a "positive" person doesn't mean always being happy; it means accepting wherever I am - observing it - without identifying with it or acting out of that place.
All is well.
Hope you all had good Wednesdays - Cheers!