R14, D17

[IslandGirl]

This afternoon, when I went to the grocery store to refill my water, the lines were loooooong. I joined one of the express lineups and then noticed an older man behind me, darting back and forth between three lines (c'mon, we've all been there!). I offered to let him go ahead, and initially he declined, but eventually I persuaded him. For good measure, I made a small donation to the food bank at the till. This felt a bit fear-based (I have to give more!), but I decided to do it anyway.

Later, when I was at the coffee shop picking up leftovers, I noticed  a woman's scarf had fallen off her chair, so I picked it up for her. 

The sun re-emerged today, though the temperature remained cool - a beautiful fall day (and a nice change of pace from yesterday's downpour). 

A new aspect of my Financial Situation has arisen. I knew it would, but I didn't focus on it, because it was in the future. And technically, it still is, for another month or so. Nutshell: the amount I owe will increase by about 40%. I knew this would happen, but because I had an extension, I didn't absorb the shock of it. Only a few months ago, I'd been down to an amount I could pay off in a year; now... yikes. I keep reminding myself that this means something big (in a good way) is on the way. Barring a miracle - which could happen - I will have to negotiate payment schedules with two different US agencies (ah, the joys of dual citizenship). I have to trust that whatever I work out, I'll be able to handle. So far, I've been able to keep up with my Canadian payments even when I had no idea how I would make the next one (read: every month since May). Part of the frustration with today's development is that part of it was a surprise; I'd been given different - and incorrect, as it turns out - information and thought I'd only have to interact with a single agency to pay off the same amount. All things considered, that's a pretty minor curve ball. And even with this additional amount, it's considerably less than I owed overall in my original Financial Situation.

Although I have a couple of months before I have to deal with this on a practical level, the information triggered a cascade of money anxiety today. I've used the tools I know and love best - trying to stay in the moment, accepting the feelings that are there, focusing on the positive and spending as much time outdoors as possible. Also, giving - and taking my focus off myself. I think my most peaceful moment of the day came after leaving the grocery store. I don't know where my next project will come from, yet I keep reminding myself that I don't have to know. I just have to trust. 

I hope you all had wonderful Tuesdays. Cheers!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Know we care and that things will work out. I pray for you every day~ xoxo

[Lois55 wwt]

You are handling what could be pretty stressful in a calm way....I love that about you:) I know everything will work itself out:) Try to enjoy your days right now, while the weather is cooperating.Take good care of you...xoxo