R15, D6

[IslandGirl]

I signed up to participate in the 29 Smiles event today, but as it turned out, I didn't leave the house until 4pm, and... I forgot. Not to mention, I didn't see nearly 29 people. 

This morning, I clicked on most of the Greater Good sites, and I played Free Rice enough to donate 1000 grains of rice. I wasn't sure what spontaneous opportunities would arise, so those were my "backup" gifts.

I spent most of the day researching ideas to pitch. This afternoon, I spontaneously called my middle sister. We're not particularly close, though we've slowly been reconnecting a bit over the past six months. We had a brief chat, and I think she was really happy that I took the initiative to call. She said she's often felt like I don't want to talk...and for a long time, I think there was some truth to that. 

Before I left to pick up the leftovers at the coffee shop, I remembered that one of the girls was still working on a short story; she told me she liked my brainstorming idea, but she didn't have a thesaurus. I have three different ones (plus several apps/Web sites I use). I decided to give one to her. But... the coffee shop was closed. I went to the boutique next door, and apparently, the coffee shop never opened today. No sign on the door, nothing. Which is a little worrisome, but I'm going to wait till Monday and find out what happened (instead of making up stories in my mind).

So I went for a walk. And I ran into a guy I wrote about a couple of weeks ago, the one who stopped and asked me why I never said hi to him. I greeted him, and then I went over and explained that I'm an introvert and not a particularly verbal or outgoing person, that I don't always even wave to people, and my lack of "verbalization" (his word) was nothing personal. He said he understood, that he's an introvert, too, but that he appreciated my clarification. It turned out he'd made up this whole story in his head that I was ignoring him or looking down on him - and he'd decided I was a snob. I pointed out that he never looked at me, and he said, "I used to, but then you acted like I didn't exist, so I decided I'd act like you don't exist." None of this was said with malice, but it still shocked me - I mean, this is someone I've only met twice and... well, this is the most conversation I've ever had with him.  

Between that and the my middle sister's comments, there's a theme here about how my introversion affects other people (and someone very close to me recently made a similar comment - that was the crux of the "wind knocked out of me" conversation). It's funny, "quiet" isn't in the top 5, 10 or even 20 words I'd use to describe myself. "Introvert" is, but the two aren't synonymous. In writing, I'm supremely verbose (as I'm sure you'd all agree!). And in the right setting, I'm extremely talkative. My poor oldest sister listens to me practically monologue once or twice a week. I was always the girl who never shut up, so being perceived as quiet, distant or aloof is kind of new - and weird - to me. And while I know there's projection at play (especially with strangers), when it affects people I really care about, then I have the opportunity to "give" them more verbal attention.

Hope you all had a great Saturday. Cheers!

[Ann]

You are beautiful just the way you are!  As for the 29 smiles challenge -- I sincerely believe that there are many ways to "give a smile".  Your thoughtfulness and caring always brings a smile to my face! (And that goes for you too, Dawn!). 

[madcitylady]

Personalities are hard to define, and we are all unique.  It's nice you were able to make peace with this man, and now he better understands you.  I'm glad you were able to talk to your sister, too.  Siblings are such a gift when we let them be.  They know us well, and love us even when we are not at our best.  Thanks for sharing yourself with us!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

Love you kiddo. I wish we all could get together and do a huge hug! We love you and support you~

[Lois55 wwt]

You had one of those days where things were all over the place...I know those who love you know you are a very quiet person. I know you were hurt the other day, and hope you can get past it. Hugging you across the miles. Take care, Sweet Friend..

[Dawn wwt]

don't feel bad about the 29 Smiles thing...it was raining here all day and i didn't get out either til late. i didn't get close to 29. maybe another day. that's strange about the coffee shop being closed. i think you're wise, though,not  to play the 'what if' game. there's time enough to deal with bad things when they come without making them up beforehand :-)  sweet dreams! Hugs, Dawn xoxo