The "simple" theme of this round continues (though I want to find more deliberate or significant ways to give). This afternoon, I left a toonie ($2 coin) under a raised plant along a walkway. Relatively speaking, this was a stretch, but it felt good, like an act of faith. A few minutes later, I overheard a couple trying to find a local shop, and I gave them directions.
Emotionally, I felt tense most of today, too. I was expecting to hear from a particular someone last night, and I didn't, and then I expected to hear something this afternoon, and I didn't - and I let that bother me most of the day. (The solution? Letting go of expectations. Easier said than done, though. Instead, I made up stories in my mind about why this person hadn't contacted me - all of which are pure speculation, and none of which made me feel good about myself.) I finished the pitches I was working on and sent them along, and I ran into one of the women who (I hope) will hire me to facilitate a creative session, so those were both good.
Last night, I emailed my friend/client, because I knew she was heading to see her mother - probably for the last time - today. Given everything she's been through, all I could do was send her my love. She emailed me this morning to bring me up to date and say thank you. It means a lot to me that she's back in touch again.
I know there are lots of reasons for me to feel tense right now. Most of my "big" triggers are being pushed, and I'm in the middle of uncertainty in two major areas of my life. What I'm trying to do - when I remember - is 1) to deliberately focus on the positive around me and 2) to focus on the sensation of agitation, without putting labels or stories to it. In this moment (as Eckhart Tolle would say), there are situations in my life, but no "problems." (Or, in Shakespeare's words: "Nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.") As with expectations, both are easier said than done, but when I can remember to do those, often it helps take the urgency away. And I try - though I'm not always successful - not to beat myself up for feeling stressed, because that just makes it worse. I'm sharing those in the hopes they might help somebody. And also to remind myself!
That said... tomorrow is another day.
Hope you all had good Tuesdays. Cheers!