Day Four (Mon 9/24/12):
* Gave kibble to the shelter animals through FreeKibble.com
That's all that came my way today (Oh plus a nice thank-you at the rec center from the girl I gave the gift card to 2 days ago.)
Day Three (Sun 9/23/12):
Very wiped out today: Relief + Exhaustion + Paperwork still pending from my (un)employment situation.
* Gave kibble to the shelter animals through FreeKibble.com
* Gave away a "You are A Gift" button from this site by sticking it into a tree trunk near where I was sitting in the park to read & write & meditate this afternoon
* Gave myself the morning to sleep AND another opportunity for a nap
* Gave my Mom the fun of my usual Sunday visit, with the Gift for her of leaving her still unburdened for now of any news of my job 'change' until she's been sufficiently 'prepped' RE issues at work that would leave me happy to move on should a Higher Power take me out of there
Things that came my way today that I chose to Accept or Receive (the practice of "Just Say Yes"):
* Went into the gas station & the clerk wanted more details of what loyalty programs I belong to (What? Can you just leave me alone? No, I don't want to talk about this right now, I just want to pay for my gasoline.. OOPS, I said "no"... better back up) & it turned out that I can get points or cents off my gas price by using my grocery store loyalty card at that gas station. Good to know when income is not regularly scheduled at this time. Thank you very much.
* Went into the office supply store & the clerk wanted to know if I needed any help (No, I'm an adult, I can look around on my own), but I told him cheerfully & deliberately what I was looking for & he led me to the display with the best posted price for what I had said I wanted. However, on the way to where I let him lead me, I saw something more of what I was looking for & it turned out that on clearance it was actually even cheaper--$1 total with tax for a nice 3-ring binder. Thank you very much.
I'm noticing already by working/noticing more on this side of the Receiving/Giving circle how impatience seems to flare right on up there on some of these opportunties to Receive: "No, I don't want to talk about it, I don't care what you know, I can do it all alone, I don't want to take time with you blah blah blah blah blah blah" in my own head. As in, (appparently) "I know it all & have More Important Things to do than talk to you, little person who thinks they know something I don't and even if you did, I don't Need anything from you anyway" WOW what a very old habit THAT is. Because I *don't* know it all, they *do* know their industry & specials, and No, I don't have More Important Things to do than talk to the fellow human in front of me ("Be kind, for everyone you meet is facing a brave struggle"--Plato, I think).
Happy workweek to those that do--
Day Two (Sat 9/22/12):
* Gave a $5 Starbucks gift card & a "Thanks a latte!" thank you card to the staff member at the rec center who had to find the boltcutters the other night to help me break my lock off the locker when I'd locked the keys inside. (Good thing, or I'd have been walking home in the dark in my swimming suit.)
Things that came my way recently that I chose to Accept or Receive (the practice of "Just Say Yes"):
* When I was having trouble getting the loaner lock to push shut, a woman at the end of the locker line started yelling at me at how to get it to shut. No hello, no asking, just yelling across the room at me. Surprisingly, I did not get annoyed but got humble enough to just listen & Yes, her way worked, and I said Thanks so much, and I was off to the rest of my workout.
* I went into a fast-food chain the other day that I don't usually go into, and apparently they are a little more service-oriented at this chain (which threw me a little bit) & so what's my name, and they were going to bring my food out to me if I wanted to get seated, and when I stopped to get napkins & a straw, the clerk said oh, we'll bring that out to you, and meanwhile my order came out on the tray & she was walking it to the table & since I had a newspaper too she offered to carry that too. It was kind of weird & unexpected for me & so part of me was saying out loud, "Oh, No, that's OK," but when I heard myself say it more than once, I stopped and handed her the newspaper and said, "OK, well, thank you very much." Just Say Yes (not No).
* I went into a sporting goods store to exchange a resistance tube that broke a few weeks after I bought it, and I was going to get into the big long line, but then this clerk came up to help me (and there is that part of me that has tended in the past to be, 'No, that's fine, I've got it, can't you see I'm standing in the line?' Like I said--I can carry my own newspaper to the table, etc) so since she asked if she could help me, and instead of being rude, I told her I had a return or exchange, and it just so happened she remembered being the one who sold me that tube (???) and she took me over to the display to choose the right replacement & exchanged it for me & went around the line to get it done & sent me out the door & meanwhile we're chatting along about how I'm SuperWoman for breaking the tube quickly hahahahaha & it was a much more pleasant experience than if I'd Resisted. * I was at the checkout stand of a store I go to a lot & the clerk who knows me said, "HEY--there's this coupon right here for that for $3 that somebody left behind & didn't use, so I'll put it on yours instead", and saved me the $3 before I even understood what was happening.
There's that tendency to say Oh, No, that's OK,--OR--there's the option to Just Say Yes & Thank You Very Much... and let the Giving from somebody else Circulate to me too, if I let it. I'm trying to let go & go with Yes, Thank You Very Much.
Day One (Fri 9/21/12)
Well, I'm back. Took a couple days 'off', but Round #9 seems to have started when again my Body jumped in before my Mind had 'decided'.
* So I was in the Target check-out line behind a very young woman & her baby & she had a handful of coupons & gift cards & then paid the final reduced total with her debit or credit card. And I made small talk about her beautiful baby while her payment was going through and she's smiling because yes, her smiling baby loves her, and then there was a problem & all of a sudden the checker was on the phone calling for help & turning her register light to "Blinking" to signal it was this line, right here, this lady, where there was a problem, and her face falls & she's asking what the problem is.
And there's always that self-conscious feeling for me when that's happened to me--it's never been a matter of my account not having the money, it's always a problem with their system processing the payment somehow--but you're still standing there feeling like you look like you have no money in your account.
And she turns to me to apologize holding up the line, and before I knew it was happening, the Giving Habit kicked in & my Body just jumped in & started talking as a Gift to ease her self-consciousness--I told her just very cheerfully and matter-of-factly just what I wrote in that paragraph above--"oh, no worries, I know when it's happened to me, it's always been some kind of problem with their system, but it leaves you standing there feeling bad like you look like you have no money in your account & feeling self-conscious in front of other people. I used to have a lot of problems with writing checks at one particular store because when I signed my name, my signature would go down into the banking numbers, and somehow their system just couldn't get past it, and they'd be putting it through 2 or 3 times, and finally have to put it through manually, & THEN they'd tell me they keep having trouble with their system that way, but meanwhile the line is waiting & you feel like it looks like your check is bouncing, but it's never that, it's always their system; finally I just quit writing checks at that store & started using my debit card" blah blah blah & meanwhile she starts smiling again & the manager comes over to the checker's blinking light to help her while we're talking.
And so then the payment goes through & everything's fine again & the checker says to her, "Yeah, that's the 2nd time that's happened to me today on this system" (!).
And the young woman, still smiling again now, turns to me & thanks me for helping her feel better.
And off we went.
* Also watched myself pass over a parking spot at the library that was in the shade so that someone else could have it on a hot day & parked my car in the sun (where did THAT come from? Oh, yeah, those habits from 8 rounds of Challenges).
Intentions for this Round:
* Keep it simple this time: To just keep myself out Circulating in the world and focused on all that I *do* have & what I can Give or Contribute or Add to the world in this time of transition & to keep my money and belongings and cheerfulness Circulating in the world instead of contracting into worry about MeMeMeMeMeMeMe
* To keep myself part of this Very Positive community! I love keeping up with what other people are doing every day.
* To Be what I want to Be right now instead of wondering what I'm going to Do now
Thanks for everything,