What a legacy......

[Linda]

Although I continue to find the gift of daily giving a continued source of joy in my life, this particular post isn't really about something I did. I've been intrigued with it for weeks, but don't really know a better forum of people with whom I can share my thoughts.

A few weeks ago yet another patient of my husband died; he asked if I wanted to see the man's obituary and left the page open for me to read. Another notice close to that one caught my eye because the last name was the same as ours.....it's a fairly common name and I was fairly sure there was no relation, but that fact that this Garrity was a 17-year old boy took my breath away. Other than the listing of his family members and the details of his wake and funeral, there was no clue as to the cause of his death. Usually, if it's from some kind of disease, there will be a request, in lieu of flowers, for donations to certain hospitals or organizations. With nothing like that, I'm curious.....was it an accident or perhaps suicide?

The sentence that still haunts me is "In Billy's memory, please extend an act of kindness to another". For whatever happened in this young man's life, can you imagine a finer request? It leaves me to think if I had known this family, I would like them very much. 

It's a bit radical, but I've already decided and arranged....when I die, there will be no wake, there will be no funeral; I'd like to be cremated and have my ashes spread out in the back woods of the Morton Arboretum. I've told my husband that he can invite whoever he thinks may care to the "spreading of my ashes" ceremony; rather morbidly, I've also created a "Memorial Day Mix" of songs that have great meaning for me; sometimes I laugh when I think about it, hoping he'll know where to look for this music and what technology will he be using to play it by then....

My new idea though is to create a similar sort of sentiment to hand out to whoever may be there.....I can't think of anything else I'd like to say as my final thoughts here on earth.

XOXO

[Dawn wwt]

i agree with Elly Rose, making your own arrangements is a beautiful gift to your loved ones. it is so difficult to make decisions at such a time and saves possible tension and anxiety for all involved. you are not morbid in the least.

i am home for the evening now but tomorrow i will do a kindness in Billy's memory. what a lovely way to be remembered! thanks for sharing this, Linda.  Hugs, Dawn

[Linda]

Thank you all.......in the "real" world in which I live, I often think my ideas are too extreme and often don't feel comfortable expressing things to others. I doesn't surprise me, but I am comforted that my post meant something to those of you who commented and appreciate all your input.

I don't know if the family will even read it, but I took the time to sign his online journal with a note of sympathy and condolences for them. I mentioned the 29gifts community and relayed your wishes on to them as well-perhaps some day, one of them will come to this place to make their way out of their terrible pain and loss.

[Elly Rose Tech Support]

I think making final arrangements for yourself is a wonderful gift.  My grandmother arranged every detail, including where to do the catering.  There were no contentious discussions over favorite songs, who should speak or where to bury her.  She left us with wonder kind words about family and her love.  I have always thought I would do the same thing but I have put it off.  Today you have inspired me to do it now.  When the right words come to you and you will recognize them.  Thank you.  I will remember Billy today and extend an act of kindness for his memory.

[Ann]

Beautiful sentiment.  I hope Billy will live on in the hearts and minds of all who knew and loved him.

[Valerie (wwt)]

What a neat idea!

[Deb~ Community Manager]

I think I may do the same... That would be the best, I think....

[Deb~ Community Manager]

How touching and awful... Oh my, Linda. It is very sad and I will do a kindness for his legacy. I am so sorry for the family and their loss. Are you ok? I miss you and love you so, my friend~