What stops you from sharing your gifts with the world?

[Cami Walker -- 29Gifts Founder]

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for some time now.

The highs are very high. There are lots of exciting things going on. The book is already getting some media buzz and people are pre-ordering on Amazon because there's a 30% discount on pre-orders right now. (Thanks if you've bought one, by the way). Our movement is now 4,357 givers strong and growing one giver at a time. (Thanks to those who are inviting friends.) My doctors just did a new set of MRIs and I found out this week that there has been no new disease activity with my Multiple Sclerosis in the past year. I don't think it's a coincidence that since I started this little giving experiment, I've been feeling more physically stable. Though I do still deal with MS symptoms daily, the progression of my disease has slowed down. I just moved into a fantastic new apartment in a better neighborhood and LOVE it. I'm about to get a new little kitten. My husband and I are getting along well. I could go on listing, but you get the picture... lots of wonderful things are happening for which I feel totally grateful.

But the lows are very low. I've been dealing with debilitating panic attacks and horrible insomnia (being AWAKE for two or three days at a time). This all began in late March, after I witnessed a traumatic accident and my cat, Abu, died the following week. The lack of sleep and constant nervous system disruption is (of course) making my old MS symptoms flare. The panic attacks seem to come out of nowhere. I had one the other day in Rite Aid just because I was overwhelmed by all the STUFF in the aisle I was walking down. I had this irrational fear that everything was going to tumble down on top of me and the next thing I know I'm hyperventilating. I know I was in a triggered state before going into the store because I had just walked past the corner where the accident happened. I froze in fear when I got to the corner and then had a flashback from the accident. It seemed like I witnessed the whole thing over again in my head.

All of this has lead me to ponder the topic of emotions lately. I've spent a good deal of time looking at excitement and fear--which seemingly live at opposite ends of the pendulum for me. I've had to remind myself that e-motions are just energy in motion and that my body really doesn't know the difference between excitement and fear, or any other emotion for that matter. On a purely energetic level, all e-motions are the same. Fear or excitement can be very stimulating and overwhelming for my nervous system. They can also both be harnessed and chanelled into my creativity.

I believe that feelings of fear, upset, anxiety, sadness or resentment – or emotions of a “positive” nature – are simply energy re-stimulated in my mind and body. The emotions I perceive as “positive” are exactly the same as the “negative” emotions in their pure, energetic state. I believe when I'm experiencing an emotion that I view as "negative" it's because a past experience has been restimulated that is still unprocessed on some level. In other words, I still have lessons to learn from that experience. Conversely, when I experience "positive" emotional states like joy or serenity, a past experience that has been more fully integrated is being restimulated.

Learning to work with my “negative” emotions and transforming them into creative fuel is a key skill I have worked hard to develop over the past couple of decades. I wouldn't say I've mastered this skill, but for me, the first step in the process is to acknowledge my fear (or anger, resentment etc) -- to literally say hello to it and speak it out loud. Rather than deny the feeling is there and run away, I get to take a step deeper into it.

So in relation to the accident I mentioned earlier, I get to say hello to my fear of dying a violent death in a car accident or some other tragic event.

Or in the case of my work, I get to say that I'm afraid of what might happen if the 29 Gifts book succeeds on a big scale. I'm scared that thousands or maybe even millions of people will read that book. Why? Because I'm afraid to be vulnerable. I don't like to show people my pain. I prefer to present the side of me that is full of bravado -- the super woman who can do everything well -- rather than the parts of me that feel a bit wounded and broken.

Once I've acknowledged my fear, I take a deep breath and ask myself, "What little thing can I do right now that will help me move through this fear?"

Sometimes the answer from deep inside my being is to write in my journal or take a walk or sit down to meditate or pray. Sometimes the answer is to take a nap or call a friend and talk about how I'm feeling. Other times, my body tells me do to some stretches, play with my dog, read a good book or watch a great film.

It's important for me to follow through on the impulse, whatever it is, because taking the action is handing the fear over to the divine powers so my energy can be freed up to feel and do whatever comes next.

So today I have a question for you. Are you holding onto a fear or resentment that is stopping you from offering your gifts to the world?

If so, I challenge you to release it right now by speaking it out for the whole world to read.